@soundspretty and @kokokokonut, thank you for your kind words and well... I'm supposed to sit down with teachers today to try to figure out an action plan so hopefully things start sorting themselves out. Hope that everything is alright on your end
Hi everyone, this thread is incredibly old at this point but I needed somewhere to vent to people who don't know me in real life. This will get oddly personal but if it violates any rules I will happily take it down.CW: gun violence + school shootingsOur school board (reluctantly) just announced virtual schooling for the next year about 15 minutes ago. On one hand, I am incredibly relieved and so grateful that they have decided to go with the safest option for everyone, but I had concerns, to begin with. I remember a few weeks ago being so incredibly scared to go to school for the next year. They weren't requiring masks for any of the students, but they were recommending them. I have been social distancing since March, both my parents fall under high-risk. I was not ready to be in an environment with students who had not been quarantining themselves (scrolling through Instagram, seeing everyone at camp or with their friends made me incredibly nervous). But the specific program that I am in (the IB Diploma Program) was not being offered online, therefore I was being forced to go into school. The idea that students weren't wearing masks freaked me out. But to be honest, what freaked me out more was an entire school wearing masks.Gun violence in the US is not new, school shootings are not new. We don't have solutions (politicians) that will make influential changes. Being in an environment where students were recommended to conceal their identity scared me, so much. There have been gun threats in schools very close to mine. Resource officers notoriously have not played any influential role in stopping events as such/aiding de-escalate the situation. I didn't want to risk getting my parents sick, I didn't want to put myself at risk of gun violence, but I had to choose between a program that could make or break my college acceptance or keeping myself and my family safe.Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that we have gone virtual. Although our curriculum will be much more difficult (the highest level high school math online with a teacher who doesn't teach for a kid who is awful at math is,, not gonna be fun), it's doable. I'd rather stay safe and work harder than to risk my family than be slightly less confused and put everyone at risk.But then again, it's my senior year. No school dances (no Prom at all for me considering that the one last year was canceled and the one this year will most likely be canceled as well), no football games (but then again, I've never been to one), no seeing friends or stupid senior pranks. I'm going to miss out on one of my favorite classes of all time, my IB Visual Arts class, with my entire friend group. I started (virtually) dating this guy that I've had a crush on since freshman year and I realized that I'm never going to actually see him in person. As a member of friend group that loves hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc., it would've been hard to socially distance to begin with. But I'm going to miss seeing and hugging them so so much.College admissions is tough to begin with, but now it's going to be harder. I have one SAT score that isn't great, but acceptable. I was planning on taking the test one or two more times to see if I could happen to get a better score, but that won't happen either. Now I'll have to BS some stuff in my application in order to sound somewhat interesting. My cousin was supposed to get married in December, so we had a whole India study abroad trip planned out for me from Thanksgiving to New Years so I could stay for all the festivities (I've never been to an Indian wedding and I'm Indian-- it sucks). I just wish that I could feel slightly more involved in it all. So here I am. Relieved that I can stay safe, but saddened that I will miss out. My goal through high school was to get the best high school experience that I could-- and I guess that's just not happening.This community has always been so wonderful and welcoming, and it's been my distraction since March. I really appreciate you guys, whether its posting looks or seeing your pets and adorable babies, thank you. You've done more good than you know.
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