Forum Moderation, Diversity & Show Your Style

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  • abasili93abasili93 New Member Registered Users 331 Posts
    edited April 9
    .
    FB Player since 2015 - Android since 2020 🌙
    Level 74 - 1st A+++ ✨
    English is not my first language 🇮🇹
  • KoakumaKoakuma New Member Registered Users 747 Posts
    edited April 8
    abasili93 said:
    I didn't choose to born white
    Oh boy. Are those violins I hear? They're so small I can't be sure

    I'm so sorry, I haven't been watching this discussion so I don't even know what you're talking about but seeing these words together always makes me chuckle 😂
  • RRMRRM Registered Users, Member 83 Posts
    @abasili93 you seem to be the most upset by the fact people might be calling you white privileged. You need to understand being called white privileged is not an insult, it's just a fact. 
    The fact is as a white Italian, you do not need to worry about facing discrimination and violence because you're white in Italy. You do not need to worry about getting a job because of your skin colour in your own country or get attacked on the street because of your skin colour. That's all, it's not an insult to be called white privileged.

    If someone is CALLING OUT the fact you have white privilege or that you're saying something racist, the best thing I can recommend is to take a step back and try to understand why they're saying this. For this, maybe you need to do some reflection and support it with some research.

    PS: I recognize that speaking in another language isn't easy 
  • hanhanhanhanhanhan Registered Users, Member 153 Posts
    abasili93 said:
    @RRM yes I'm upset if being white privileged means I cannot speak up my opinion without being addressed as racist. When everything I am trying to say is that I have been privileged enough in my life not to be subject or witness cultural appropriation phenomenon. Listen, I got everything you meant and I agree, but sometimes the perception of some message here on the forum is heavy. So that irony is perceived as bullying and things that shouldn't be meant as insults are perceived as insults. That's all I wanted to say. 
    Being appealed as "white privileged" here doesn't make sense to me in this discussion because I wanted to stress cultural differences and perceptions on the phenomenon (mostly because I come from a white privileged society!). To stop the hate and the fight and start a real conversation. 
    If I've been misunderstood, I'm sorry but at this point I start to think it's not only my fault. Surely it's also due to communication, language and cultural differences, but I am really disappointed about it.
    Hi! I thought I’d jump in here to try sort things out. I understand you were trying to have a discussion about cultural appropriation and racism which are actually very closely linked issues. Please know that saying you have white privileged is not an insult. It just means that you are not attacked for being non-white, like how the rest of us POC are.

    For example, I am a cis woman. This means I have cis privilege, because I am not ever attacked for this like how trans people are attacked. This is not an insult to me or my personality, but just a fact that I will never face transphobia due to me being cisgender. While I experience other forms of discrimination (racism, sexism), I will never experience transphobia. So for you, while you may never experience racism, you may experience other forms of discrimination (I won’t be making any assumptions here). 

    I don’t think anyone has said you cannot speak about your opinion due to your white privilege. I think the point is that if you are white, you likely don’t understand the true nuance and pain of racism but only because you haven’t experienced it - again, this is not an insult but a fact. The idea here is to give the mic to people who experience the issues at hand, to allow them an opportunity to speak about their own experiences. For example, if there was a discussion about transphobia and experiences within the trans community, I would not take the mic and provide my opinion and take space up when there are real trans people who can provide valuable insight if they choose. What I should do as an ally is stand by them and stick up for them.

    I hope this makes sense. @abasili93
  • abasili93abasili93 New Member Registered Users 331 Posts
    edited April 9
    .
    FB Player since 2015 - Android since 2020 🌙
    Level 74 - 1st A+++ ✨
    English is not my first language 🇮🇹
  • hanhanhanhanhanhan Registered Users, Member 153 Posts
    abasili93 said:
    @hanhanhan I'm sorry if I took space with my opinion. Won't happen again. Btw, really appreciated your comment, for real.
    Issues like this are always a learning experience for everyone. Allies are always appreciated and wanted in situations like this. I appreciate your apology and I’m glad you found my comment useful!
  • abasili93abasili93 New Member Registered Users 331 Posts
    edited April 9
    .
    FB Player since 2015 - Android since 2020 🌙
    Level 74 - 1st A+++ ✨
    English is not my first language 🇮🇹
  • Poopnuggets69Poopnuggets69 Registered Users, Member 280 Posts
    Posted again cause it was taken down cause I edited 🤪. 
    @kokokokonut and @KalindaKing can you please tell me what happened to your mission statements? As we have seen? It’s now been about 4 months, and nothing seems to have changed. In fact it’s gotten worse! Now instead of just ignoring the posts, you two threaten to ban people who speak out against racist/hurtful posts. It’s so ironic how you two were so shocked at how those posts stayed up for 3 years, yet you two are doing the exact same behavior now as you did then. People have been tagging you and dming you about the mayhem that has been going on, and you two have done nothing except threaten to ban people for explaining why a person’s post was hurtful. Obviously we are testy and at this point I’m done with being nice. This conversation shouldn’t need to be had every 2 weeks. Both of you suck at your job. Take a course on sensitivity training for me instead of sending default messages into people’s dms. Btw stay tf out of my dms. And in case you forgot your mission statements, here they are!
    "Make an account on the forum!", they said. "It will be fun!", they said. The only time I'm having fun is when I'm not here.
  • purpleprincesspurpleprincess Registered Users, Member 49 Posts
    abasili93 said:

    abasili93 said:
    @RRM yes I'm upset if being white privileged means I cannot speak up my opinion without being addressed as racist. When everything I am trying to say is that I have been privileged enough in my life not to be subject or witness cultural appropriation phenomenon. Listen, I got everything you meant and I agree, but sometimes the perception of some message here on the forum is heavy. So that irony is perceived as bullying and things that shouldn't be meant as insults are perceived as insults. That's all I wanted to say. 
    Being appealed as "white privileged" here doesn't make sense to me in this discussion because I wanted to stress cultural differences and perceptions on the phenomenon (mostly because I come from a white privileged society!). To stop the hate and the fight and start a real conversation. 
    If I've been misunderstood, I'm sorry but at this point I start to think it's not only my fault. Surely it's also due to communication, language and cultural differences, but I am really disappointed about it.
    Edit (post deleted by glitch, again): "The fact is as a white Italian, you do not need to worry about facing discrimination" even if I cannot be subjected to racial discrimination, other forms of discrimination are addressed here in Italy. They are addressed from Italians to Italians for their roots. I have been called "simple-minded" because I came from a rural Italian Region (still being one of the best students in my university class). I have been discriminated for my accent. A relevant part of Italians doesn't feel Italians and discriminate other Italians from other Regions. We also have feuds over different cities in the same Region. You may think it's not relevant because most of this kind of discrimination does not imply violence, and it's true that is not even comparable to POC situation. It is still discrimination, although, imho.
    You just admitted it doesn’t compare. Why write us a novella about it?

    BRB I’m gonna talk to my friend who’s in a wheelchair & compare her situation to my broken finger nail. But I’ll add a disclaimer that I’m not comparing it; that makes it true.
  • Kween_of_the_KastleKween_of_the_Kastle Registered Users, Member 1,253 Posts
    edited April 8
    I am a white American with blonde hair and blue eyes. I was working in Italy and was physically attacked by men while at a bus stop because in that region my features were associated with being 'loose'. After this I shaved my hair off, dyed it brown when it grew back, and wore colored contacts and tanned. I feel ashamed by feeling like the only way I was safe was changing my features and not be comfortable in my own skin. POC don't have these same options to escape being attacked and discriminated against. It is important to understand or at least empathize with why POCs find things happening on forum as disrespectful and hurtful.  In this world we care too much about ourselves and not enough about others. Not changing a doll's skin tone or using POC hair doesnt harm a user in any way. Doing these things, however, hurts others (even if unintentionally)  but it still does. So my plea is that people use the privilege they have (which isn't a derogatory dig) to be a champion and voice for others. Or at the very least respect others enough to not change skin tone and use POC hair as if they were accessories 
  • hanhanhanhanhanhan Registered Users, Member 153 Posts
    I am a white American with blonde hair and blue eyes. I was working in Italy and was physically attacked by men while at a bus stop because in that region my features were associated with being 'loose'. After this I shaved my hair off, dyed it brown when it grew back, and wore colored contacts and tanned. I feel ashamed by feeling like the only way I was safe was changing my features and not be comfortable in my own skin. POC don't have these same options to escape being attacked and discriminated against. It is important to understand or at least empathize with why POCs find things happening on forum as disrespectful and hurtful.  In this world we care too much about ourselves and not enough about others. Not changing a doll's skin tone or using POC hair doesnt harm a user in any way. Doing these things, however, hurts others (even if unintentionally)  but it still does. So my plea is that people use the privilege they have (which isn't a derogatory dig) to be a champion and voice for others. Or at the very least respect others enough to not change skin tone and use POC hair as if they were accessories 
    I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. I hope you are doing okay and appreciate you sharing your story. I can’t imagine how traumatic that must have been. You didnt deserve that at all. ❤️
  • KkhElenaKkhElena Registered Users, Member 570 Posts
    I am a white American with blonde hair and blue eyes. I was working in Italy and was physically attacked by men while at a bus stop because in that region my features were associated with being 'loose'. After this I shaved my hair off, dyed it brown when it grew back, and wore colored contacts and tanned. I feel ashamed by feeling like the only way I was safe was changing my features and not be comfortable in my own skin. POC don't have these same options to escape being attacked and discriminated against. It is important to understand or at least empathize with why POCs find things happening on forum as disrespectful and hurtful.  In this world we care too much about ourselves and not enough about others. Not changing a doll's skin tone or using POC hair doesnt harm a user in any way. Doing these things, however, hurts others (even if unintentionally)  but it still does. So my plea is that people use the privilege they have (which isn't a derogatory dig) to be a champion and voice for others. Or at the very least respect others enough to not change skin tone and use POC hair as if they were accessories 
    Girl that sh*t is so disgusting. I hope you're okay and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult sharing this really gross and inhuman experience was. I hope that you're now doing okay❤
  • Kween_of_the_KastleKween_of_the_Kastle Registered Users, Member 1,253 Posts
    💞
  • eden_sunshineeden_sunshine Registered Users, Member 238 Posts
    @Kween_of_the_Kastle i am so sorry that that happened to you, there is no excuse. 
    i hope that you’re okay, and i commend you on still being about to see external from your experience to not weaponise that against poc in this discussion.
    i hope you all the best, and that you’re safe and comfortable in your physicality now.
    please let me know if you need anything or somebody to talk to, my inbox is always open.
  • PrincessCDettePrincessCDette Registered Users, Member 158 Posts
    I think this is in reference to that comment about the POC hair being  "horrendous". 
    That comment should have been removed and the user banned. But I'm sure they only got a warning.
    Did any of you dolls who replied to her get warnings as well?   
    I'm a feminist, activist, fangirl, princess and a pet parent. Yes, a princess AND a feminist. The duality in my personality makes me great! 
    Android User off an on from 2014

  • hanhanhanhanhanhan Registered Users, Member 153 Posts
    I think this is in reference to that comment about the POC hair being  "horrendous". 
    That comment should have been removed and the user banned. But I'm sure they only got a warning.
    Did any of you dolls who replied to her get warnings as well?   
    I didn’t get a warning this time. It’s very interesting that this user wasn’t banned immediately considering their racist comment (and history of ignorance regarding racism, since they tried to brush off any conversation regarding cultural appropriation and told everyone to talk about it elsewhere.) Why are anti-racist people receiving warnings while racist dolls are allowed to continue on the forum normally? 
    Its a rhetorical question because the actions speak for themselves.
  • eden_sunshineeden_sunshine Registered Users, Member 238 Posts
    @hanhanhan what topic is that on, oh my god 
  • hanhanhanhanhanhan Registered Users, Member 153 Posts
    @eden_sunshine I think it’s the weekend professional event! Near the end of the thread 
  • serenaa33serenaa33 Registered Users, Member 1 Posts
    edited April 19
  • hanhanhanhanhanhan Registered Users, Member 153 Posts
    koko and Kalinda have also not bothered to provide me with an example as to how I’ve been disruptive and disrespectful on the forum. It’s clear they’re targeting POC and Allies of POC on this forum because they’ve been called out on their discriminatory behaviour. 
  • eden_sunshineeden_sunshine Registered Users, Member 238 Posts
    edited April 19
    Anissa722 said:
    I think that when you receive a warning for a “disruptive”comment it should be mandatory that the moderator that is sending you the warning should have to include what comment you made is categorized as disruptive because if not it becomes hearsay. 
    couldnt agree more. 
    as well as that, if my comments were disruptive and disrespectful, i should know what content that is, so i can avoid making the same comment/s in the future & risk my account being terminated or suspended again. 
  • eden_sunshineeden_sunshine Registered Users, Member 238 Posts
    @pristineperson you’re absolutely right, well said
  • AnnaKKH_AnnaKKH_ Registered Users, Member 186 Posts
    This is absolutely ridiculous. This forum has officially turned into a dictatorship at this point. These mods have zero regard for the POC’s on this forum, and I know that because I literally have said some of the exact same things as @eden_sunshine on this forum, but I have never once gotten a DM about it. I have a feeling that it’s probably due to the fact that I’m white, so they automatically don’t associate me as being “disruptive and disrespectful” while the POC dolls do for saying the exact same thing. We need more mods. Kalinda and Koko need to do better and POCs deserve to be treated better and more fairly.
  • Kween_of_the_KastleKween_of_the_Kastle Registered Users, Member 1,253 Posts
    Here is a link to compile our complaints that I will be sending to higher ups (finally got contact information for someone with pull). I will be backing up periodically to keep safe and appreciate others creating backups 

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1k_ql6jTMHO_05w8h_GZ76vUJPSSW6YZAOLNzT76L43w/edit?usp=drivesdk
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