~ Apropos of Nuthin'

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  • kokokokonutkokokokonut Moderators 29,091 Posts
    edited January 2020
    @Basak. I invite you in for a virtual hug.  You can share anything here.  Everyone needs a place to be anonymously themselves.  For y0ur friends to be dismissive of your boyfriend and your wishes, means all is not perfect in their own lives.  It’s easier to point the finger away rather than examine their own issues.  
    It sounds like you are looking at a number of things, and put together they seem insurmountable. But step back, take a breath, and look at each part one at a time.  They aren’t as big that way.  and try to do some little thing for yourself each day.  Maybe it’s a bubble bath you want, or simply a walk in the park to help center you, listen to the birds chirping, or cloud formations that look like kittens.  University is so mind crushing at times.  You will get through this, and you will be stronger for accomplishing your goals, one at a time. 
    Your friends at school....when school is over, will you still be with them day after day?  Their importance in your life will lessen, but a boyfriend or girlfriend is more likely to be with you longer term once school is out.
    seriously and most important...each day do one little thing just for you. Because you’re your own best friend.  <3
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  • jhabsjhabs Registered Users, Member 1,942 Posts
    @Basak I would be willing to bet that at least half of the active forum users have dealt with anxiety and/or depression at one point in their lives (I know I have!). I just want you to know you’re not alone! I really struggled through college because of my anxiety and depression but I eventually found my way and I know you will too. In the end, you’ll make it through school, you’ll find friends who appreciate you for you, and you’ll look back at the period of your life that you’re in currently and it’ll be a distant memory! 
  • BasakBasak Registered Users, Member 1,215 Posts
    @kokokokonut I always try to create some “me time” for myself, maybe I should start to do it more. Thank you for your advices! This forum always makes me feel a lot better. 💖

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  • BasakBasak Registered Users, Member 1,215 Posts
    @jhabs Dealing with anxiety&depression is really hard for me so I always respect people who dealt with them and eventually won the fight! 🙏🏻 I have another friends who respect me, my opinions and my decisions but I don’t have any idea how to seperate myself from my old friends who judge me and give me anxiety. I can’t just message them “Don’t message me or call me anymore, bye” because we have mutual friends and things won’t end up good. 😢

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  • thallisathallisa Registered Users 1,384 Posts
    @Basak Maybe try to slowly distance yourself from these toxic people and eventually you’ll stop having contact with them? I’m sure your mutual friends won’t mind splitting time, especially if you open yourself up to them and explain why you’re not interested in spending time with those who make you feel bad in any way. I know it’s scary, but if they’re your actual friends they will understand. If not - then it means they’re not worth your attention. 

    I had a “friend” who always criticized me for everything and for the longest time I thought it was just her ~brutal honesty and that I should be grateful I had such a great friend who’s not afraid to express her opinion. I’ve limited my contact with her when she laughed at me and said “well, you’ve always been ambitious” when I told her I’ve started studying law, but I still talked to her occasionally. But later I’ve completely removed her out of my life when she started criticizing me for.. going vegetarian lol Not having to talk to this bitter person literally changed my life, because I noticed how better I feel about myself and my choices when I don’t have someone like this looking down on every decision I make.
  • BasakBasak Registered Users, Member 1,215 Posts
    @thallisa They’re all studying in different cities and for 5 or 6 months they never text me or call me. But when the summer break or the winter break comes, they all want to meet every effing day like wut? It doesn’t look very sincere to me tbh. For example next week I have 5 doctor appointments like every weekday and I’m really ill. But I’m assuming they will insist about I should go out and hang out with them anyways. I don’t know what to do, they allllllways want to go out but it’s freezing in here like -1 celcius. People are nuts, I don’t even...

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  • RikkRikk Registered Users 3,870 Posts
    @thallisa I can’t believe they criticized you for becoming a vegetarian! 😂 I’m so glad you distanced yourself, that’s nuts. @basak I hope your appointments go well! Stay strong the next time you see them and only do what you want to do — if they really want to see you, then they’ll be willing to meet up on your terms :)
  • thallisathallisa Registered Users 1,384 Posts
    @Basak tbh my doctor appointments are always my top excuse when I want to dodge some unwanted offers to hang out 😩 so I’m sorry you’re not well and I hope you’ll get better soon but also.. take advantage of this and use it as a reason why you can’t hang out with them! It truly looks like they just want to have something to do when they’re in the city which sucks, I hate when people reach out to others only when they have no other option. 
  • BasakBasak Registered Users, Member 1,215 Posts
    @thallisa I’ll definitely use these doctor appointments as an excuse! Health is the most important thing so, bye toxic friends! 👋🏻👋🏻

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  • thallisathallisa Registered Users 1,384 Posts
    @Rikk right? And she seemed obsessed with getting me to eat meat again which was truly insane. Especially since I wasn’t even forcing my opinion or beliefs on her, it was a simple conversation related to food and I mentioned that it’s been xx since I’ve eaten any meat and it drove her nuts 😂
  • TrashleyKKHTrashleyKKH Registered Users, Member 4,515 Posts
    @basak omg , I can’t believe I just read this! I wish I can give you a big hug 🤗. I think you have to take care of your own mental health before anything else. I agree with rikk about simple things like meditation or going for a quick walk can do wonders. 
     

    I struggled a lot during my first year of uni and i ended failing one of subjects. I did end up staying over the holidays to redo some assignments and tests. I think you should go and have a good talk with your subject coordinator or subject counselors to discuss over it. It is intimidating but they do have your best interest in the end. 

    I hope you are in a better space and we are all here for you. ❤️ 
    IOS Player 
  • BasakBasak Registered Users, Member 1,215 Posts
    @TrashleyKKH Awww, thank you so much! 🥺 Mental health is my current priority. When you take pills, your physical pain goes away but if you’re struggling with mental issues, only solution is in yourself. I try to put myself before anyone else now. What do I want? What makes me happy? Today I told my “friends” that they’re too judgemental in a kind-ish way. They were offended but telling this finally made me happy. More to come soon. I hope. 🙏🏻

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  • RikkRikk Registered Users 3,870 Posts
    So proud of you @basak! 💕
  • BasakBasak Registered Users, Member 1,215 Posts
    @Rikk I’m proud of myself too actually! 🙏🏻

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  • soundsprettysoundspretty Registered Users 5,000 Posts
    I've been having such a bad week. One of those weeks where you think surely it's going to get better and something worse happens. It's been mostly work stress, but I got home today to find someone's pet cat dead on my front porch. It's a cat that's been wandering the neighborhood for years so I know it's not a stray (I will *never* understand why someone would let their cat outside to roam, in the city, where it can very easily be hit by a car!) but I'm not sure which neighbor it belongs to. Poor thing froze to death because it's WINTER. It SNOWED last night. WHY WAS YOUR CAT OUTSIDE?? I hate people
  • kokokokonutkokokokonut Moderators 29,091 Posts
    edited February 2020
    Oh @soundspretty, that is awful.  Those people should not have animals. Think of what a wonderful rest of the week you will have.  But I am so sorry you’ve had a week like this, and a dead cat on your doorstep, I would have just cried.  Big hugs Doll.

    Edit for typos
    If you are having trouble DO NOT UNINSTALL THE GAME!
    🦋Purple Headed ♊+ 🥥 Chick Playing iOS & Android 🦋
    I Am NOT a Glu Employee
    🌟If you want my attention please send a dm
    💜Vats
    💜#VipKalinda
    #RecollectionsMayVary
  • soundsprettysoundspretty Registered Users 5,000 Posts
    Me at work today, having to fix everyone else's mistakes:


  • TrashleyKKHTrashleyKKH Registered Users, Member 4,515 Posts
    @soundspretty Omg, that is horrible! As an owner of two dogs it is quite irresponsible to let out your pet in the cold even if the pet want to be out. The positive thing is I suppose things can only go up after all the bad stuff. Sending you positive vibes. Maybe treat yourself to something nice like coffee or a cake. 
    IOS Player 
  • soundsprettysoundspretty Registered Users 5,000 Posts
    @soundspretty Omg, that is horrible! As an owner of two dogs it is quite irresponsible to let out your pet in the cold even if the pet want to be out. The positive thing is I suppose things can only go up after all the bad stuff. Sending you positive vibes. Maybe treat yourself to something nice like coffee or a cake. 
    I can't help but think they did it on purpose. I'm 99% sure I know which house it belonged to and they don't seem to care. They used to leave their garage door cracked and they haven't done that since they day I found it. So they know. Makes me so angry.
  • kokokokonutkokokokonut Moderators 29,091 Posts
    It is si hard to get good neighbors.  I'm hoping for my next set to be good ones.  My best neighbors were the ones I left when we built our house.  But your sound like monsters.  Ignore them unless you think they're dangerous.  Do you want to mention it to the authorities?  Mine are just mean, yours are monsters. 
    If you are having trouble DO NOT UNINSTALL THE GAME!
    🦋Purple Headed ♊+ 🥥 Chick Playing iOS & Android 🦋
    I Am NOT a Glu Employee
    🌟If you want my attention please send a dm
    💜Vats
    💜#VipKalinda
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  • soundsprettysoundspretty Registered Users 5,000 Posts
    They aren't my next door neighbors thankfully, they live a few houses down. I haven't had any interactions with them although my actual next door neighbor told me a story about the wife that was not so great. Before this the only thing I knew about them was that they smoked the whole neighborhood out on July 4th last year because they decided lighting fireworks on a tarp was a good idea??
  • kokokokonutkokokokonut Moderators 29,091 Posts
    Any chance this couple are cousins, with only one set of grandparents or something?  stupid is stupid but the cat on the doorstep goes deeper than stupid.
    If you are having trouble DO NOT UNINSTALL THE GAME!
    🦋Purple Headed ♊+ 🥥 Chick Playing iOS & Android 🦋
    I Am NOT a Glu Employee
    🌟If you want my attention please send a dm
    💜Vats
    💜#VipKalinda
    #RecollectionsMayVary
  • RikkRikk Registered Users 3,870 Posts
    @soundspretty that’s so awful; I’m sorry you had to deal with that 🙁 The neighbor who lived across the street from me when I was little moved away and left all his pets to die at home. My father discovered it when he went to his house one day to check on things and was so angry and disturbed that someone could be so callous to just abandon their pets like that.

    A few weeks after my dad had to make a police report and get the house cleaned out, the guy’s cat showed up at our door, begging for food — I guess it must’ve left through the cat door when her owner never returned to fend for herself. My dad adopted it — that beautiful little Tonkinese became my first and only cat! She lived 14 years with us and followed my dad around everywhere like a dog 😂

    Animals’ lives are just as worthy of respect as any other living thing and we have to protect them! I wish there was a more thorough and effective vetting/education process required to become a guardian of a pet. I’m so sorry again that you had that heart-wrenching shock and I hope your week gets better in general 💕
  • dpetersdpeters Registered Users, Member 2,843 Posts
    Hi dolls! I know I haven't been active but I've
    seen how supportive everyone is on the forum so I wanted to share something.

    I've been feeling pretty sad this week because on Monday I got rejected from a job I applied to, which I really, really wanted. I know this may not seem like a big deal but the process was really long and everything seemed to go well so I had very high expectations so it felt really bad to be rejected and I haven't been able to let go of the disappointment. I hate feeling like this and I've tried to distract myself by reading or watching movies but it's not working and I have no friends to talk to about this because most of them are very busy so I feel like I'm interrupting them with unimportant stuff.

    Anyway, I guess I needed to let it out so I'm sorry if this is annoying but thanks for reading!
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  • KalindaKingKalindaKing Moderators 5,602 Posts
    @dpeters Sorry to hear you got rejected. Job hunting can be brutal and we're here to support you! There are so many factors involved, so who knows why you didn't get it. Just keep working on your application materials and interview skills. Hopefully you'll get something soon that's even better.
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  • kokokokonutkokokokonut Moderators 29,091 Posts
    I'm so sorry @dpeters job hunting is frustrating, depressing and can take a toll on your psyche.  A rejection is a rejection and that's never easy.  Kalinda's right.  Keep working on your intervion in iew skills and resume.  ANd hold good thoughts.  Good luck.
    If you are having trouble DO NOT UNINSTALL THE GAME!
    🦋Purple Headed ♊+ 🥥 Chick Playing iOS & Android 🦋
    I Am NOT a Glu Employee
    🌟If you want my attention please send a dm
    💜Vats
    💜#VipKalinda
    #RecollectionsMayVary
  • dpetersdpeters Registered Users, Member 2,843 Posts
    Thanks @KalindaKing and @kokokokonut you're both very sweet! I guess I'm too soft when it comes to facing difficult situations but this is a good way to get a tougher skin so I'll just keep on trying. 
    Android player 
    Christmas lover 🎄
    #duetstiesystemisunfair
    #fomoiskeepingmehere
  • jhabsjhabs Registered Users, Member 1,942 Posts
    @dpeters I’m sorry you’re going through this! I was looking for a job for a good six months before I finally found one. When I accepted the position I’m in now, I was really excited about it. Now that I’m a few months in, it’s definitely not everything I thought it was at first. Basically, what I’m saying is that a job can seem great, but once you’re in it, it can be different. Even though you wanted that job, there’s always a chance it might not have been as great as you thought it was. 

    Its okay to feel disappointed, but I really think everything happens for a reason. It’s hard to not give up (believe me, I know haha) but I know we’ll find jobs that are right for us in the end. 
  • dpetersdpeters Registered Users, Member 2,843 Posts
    Thanks @jhabs! I'm sorry your job didn't turn out as you expected, I've been there too and you're right, everything happens for a reason. Hopefully what we're looking for is coming our way! 
    Android player 
    Christmas lover 🎄
    #duetstiesystemisunfair
    #fomoiskeepingmehere
  • VampireBarbieVampireBarbie Registered Users, Member 1,242 Posts
    It’s so great to see everyone being so supportive here 🥺💕
    I’ve been much less active on the forum these past few months, but it holds such a special place in my heart and I really value all of the friends I’ve made here so much. I really want to be more active soon.

    On an unrelated note, I just got my wisdom teeth removed Thursday morning and if anybody has any tips for recovery / soothing the pain that would be awesome. I had three wisdom teeth total, and two of them were fully impacted growing sideways so they hurt the most (the bottom two). They gave me lots of medication which has been helping but at this point I would love any recommendations for foods to eat other than mashed potatoes, ice cream, pudding, and smoothies 😂 I think I’m at a point where I can eat more substantial foods now that it has been a couple of days. And rotating between ice packs and heating pads has been a lifesaver too!
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